Now let me think…why wouldn’t the Republicans want to raise taxes on millionaires? I mean, whose interests could they possibly be serving? I’m utterly flummoxed. I just can’t figure it out…
Four years ago I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton. Four years later she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.
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| — | President Obama, White House Correspondent’s Dinner (via apsies) |
I want to thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.
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President Obama (via kileyrae)
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Just to clear things up for the extreme right-wingers, here’s the difference between Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh: the people who watch Bill Maher know he’s an asshole.
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Jimmy Kimmel True story. (via kateoplis) |
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
GRRM: You have two cows. You allow one to live, but injure it and make sure to kill the other one brutally right in front of it. You then allow your one remaining cow to suffer an arc of misery, displacement from its homeland, maiming, and rape, before finally killing it with greyscale.
Panem: You have 2 cows but you can't drink any milk or the Peacekeepers cut your tongue out and make you an Avox. That is, if they don't shoot you on the spot.
BSG: The cows were created by man. They evolved; they rebelled. There are many herdmates. And they have some milk....
Every detainee who will be admitted to the general population may be required to undergo a close visual inspection while undressed.
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Anthony M. Kennedy, writing for the majority in a 5-4 decision that approves the use of strip-searches for any offense.
In other words, if only the authorities had been strip-searching everyone they detained for minor violations over the past twenty years, the Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11 never would have happened. Because strip-searches tell us everything we need to know about “the most devious and dangerous criminals” … especially those we ordinarily wouldn’t have suspected for their deviance and dangerousness until we saw them naked. I’m sorry, but this is sheer madness. The idea that five people who are supposed to be amongst our country’s preeminent legal scholars sat together in a room and decided that this was an appropriate understanding of the U.S. Constitution makes me despair for the country my children will inhabit. More here. (via kohenari) Hey Kennedy - How ‘bout a kick in the balls for this level of douchebaggery?
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Recently the actors who play Rue and Cinna have come under attack from Racist fans of the Hunger Games. Reblog if you support the casting of Amandla Stenberg, the adorable and talented actress who plays Rue, and Lenny Kravitz, the unquestionable genius who plays Cinna. More @ eonline.
